


but i'm into it (driving me crazy)

by AnnCherie



Series: we won't be our parents [3]
Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Multi, Pregnancy, dan was never gossip girl stop lying to yourself, don't worry chuck is in jail and louis is gone, pregnant blair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnCherie/pseuds/AnnCherie
Summary: nate & dan deal with their very pregnant girlfriend
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald/Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald/Dan Humphrey, Nate Archibald/Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf
Series: we won't be our parents [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136972
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	but i'm into it (driving me crazy)

**Author's Note:**

> title based off of Kiwi by Harry Styles (i'm bad at titles anyway might as well be basic.) That being said it's about a girl who's having a baby soo...

Of all the times in their lives that Nate thought he would end up waking next to Blair Waldorf, it had never been with Dan Humphrey on the other side. This is his new normal now, a bed large enough for the three of them having been installed a week ago, despite the fact that they still more often than not end up on the couch. 

“You two are comfy,” Blair complains. “Being able to lean while I cuddle is so much easier.”

Whichever one of them she’s trapped into being her pillow for the night usually sighs, puts the other on Milo duty, and soon Blair is snoring loudly. Blair with a full night of sleep is much easier than a cranky third term pregnant Blair who had none as they find out.

“You know how much money we spent on that bed, right?” Dan asked them to blank expressions, Nate understanding only a little more than Blair what it means to not have a trust fund. “Not to mention it took forever to even get into this place--,”

“ _That’s because we need a new place_.” Blair chided, nagging them consistently now that she was in nesting mode. “I don’t even care what zip code anymore, Humphrey, but as much as I will always hold nostalgia for this three bedroom hovel, we need more room.”

“We don’t need more room, all we need is to downsize your closet.” Dan fought back illogically, still stubborn. Nate wondered if at this point he was only fighting her to fight, because even he agreed, “Dan. Come on. Don’t you think at least one of us needs an office?”

Blair waved a hand at Nate. “There. A logical compromise. We get a new place, you get your own office. Dorota can stop complaining about fighting with you anytime she needs to clear books from desks and tables.”

“I don’t have time to write anything anyway.” Dan mumbled, but he gives in later that night when Blair throws out every take out menu in the loft and replaces them with housing listings. 

  
  


The place is much more modest, than Nate had thought Blair would ever settle for (Despite being everything they needed). Dan had spent the day with a real estate agent showing them houses and by the late afternoon and walking the city, weeks-from-labor Blair breaks down on the staged couch of the last five-bedroom home and tells the real estate agent, “We’ll take it”, before promptly falling asleep.

“Dan,” Nate says, chuckling at the sight of her. His boyfriend pauses his conversation with the agent to turn to him. Nate can’t help but shake his head with a finger to his lips, walking over to whisper in his ear. “Blair is going to murder you when she realizes what you did.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dan whispers, a smirk coming loose from the corners of his lips. “It’s not my fault the real estate agent showed us six houses out of our budget until this one.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure it was the agent who circled this specific listing in red pen before I threw the paper in the trash so she didn't see it.” Nate replies.

Dan is caught and he knows it, but he asks Nate, “Wait, you knew. Does that mean you like it?”

“Yeah, I like it.” Nate nods, smiling. “She’s still going to kill you.”

“Well at least with this place you can afford a nice funeral for me.” Dan jokes back, and Nate laughs, shaking his head. Sometimes the three of them worked together in ways Nate could never expect.  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“God I’m so hungry,” Blair complains in the middle of the first football game of the season. Usually Nate sucks it up and does a food run but he’s trying to watch tv and if he misses this potential goal-- but she turns off the television in the middle of a pass and he thinks he might murder her. “Please, Nate, save me. Pick me up some of that Indian food we used to get.” 

“Blair, that's halfway across town now.” Nate argued. Of course Dan had to choose now to be at some stupid writing conference.

“It’s not my fault we moved!” She tried, but when Nate glared a little rudely at her-- still not dumb enough to try and take the remote back-- she caved. “Okay, maybe a _little_ my fault, but--,”

“I will give you my phone to order food on my card, just turn the game back on, _please_.”

So she does and he gets to shout at the tail end of the goal being made only for her to throw his phone back at him, hitting him squarely in the chest. At first he thinks it might be some dirty pic from Dan that she wasn’t expecting, but when he looks up at her there are tears in her eyes and his stomach drops as he rushes to check his phone-- only to see a text from Dan asking _Is she driving you crazy yet?_

“Come on, Blair, it’s just a joke,” Nate tries to tell her, hoping that her pregnant brain will hear him even as she hops off the couch in an unglorified hop. “You know we both love you.”

“No, Dan loves charity cases,” she says, beginning to cry and stepping back when he gets up and tries to step forward to hug her. “You just put up with me for him.”

“That is not true.” Nate replied, thinking he might see the root problem. “...Well, Dan is way too giving sometimes, but him falling for you was _not_ something he would have wanted to do if he wasn’t head over heels for you.”

Blair rolled her eyes, not arguing, her bottom lip still full in pouting.

“Are you really upset about Dan, or is it me?”

Chocolate brown doe eyes turn directly back down and to him as she tears up even further, barely able to croak out, “You never loved me, why would you now?”

“I loved you back then and I love you now,” Nate said, wishing she would just let him hold her. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. You fell in love with plenty of people after me and I’ve never thought that meant you couldn’t love me now if you wanted to.”

“If I wanted to?” She asked with a scoff. “Like I had a choice.”

“Do you not want Dan and I--,”

“ _No,_ Nate, that’s not what I meant at all.” Blair said in a rush, looking flustered and squinting her eyes like she tended to when she wanted least to admit something. When she opens her eyes, she looks both sweet and forlorn as she admits, “I meant I’ve always loved you. A tiny bit of me never stopped. How could I? You’re you.”

“A tiny bit of me never stopped either.” He admits, kissing her on the forehead, but she pulls him in for a kiss on the lips and he gives her a slow kiss in response. Smiling, he asked, “Does this have anything to do with finding my old sweater and your sewn heart from unpacking?”

Blair gasps in offense. “Dan _told_ you about that?”

“He might have said you snapped his head off when he told you the heart should be kept somewhere less easy to lose in the washer. And then added you broke down in tears over snapping at him.” She gives an angry humph, clearly planning an ‘angry’ call later, but for now she finally lets him pull her closely into him, head fitting perfectly under his shoulder like when they were teens. “He figured you would bottle it up until it came out of nowhere, but I was right. It didn’t take that long.”

“I am driving you two crazy, huh?” she asks, sighing into his chest.

“Hey, at least now you have the excuse of creating life.” He jokes, and she laughs a little as she pulls back.

Blair smiles a little, looking up at him. “I don’t mean to be a handful anymore. Usually.”

“I know.” Nate smiles back. “It’s worth it either way.”

“Well then, that being said, you could have gotten me my Indian food by now.”

“ _Blair_.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


No one in their right mind would want to be on the other side of an angry sixteen year old Constance school Blair Waldorf, but Blair twenty hours into labor was another thing entirely. No makeup, sweat rolling down her forehead and turning her dark hair into ringlets, and the angry screams at anyone and everyone in sight. 

“Humphrey, this is _your_ fault!” She went for Dan yet again, who was sitting down beside her bed opposite Nate and icing his broken hand. Unlike Nate, he had thought it wise to hold her hand before the epidural. Nate, who had helped her through vomiting and period cramps when they were growing up, had been way too wary of the pressure force she could cause now. 

“How dare you let me keep this baby!”

Rolling his eyes at this point, as out of his mind tired as Nate is as well, Dan stays silent. Dan and Nate had stopped asking for answers to her warped logic around hour four. Nate goes to say something, but then her angry eyes lock on him. “And _you_ helped him.”

“I had nothing to do with this!” Nate argued helplessly. “You were already into your second term when you told me.”

“ _Yes_ , but you looked cute with Milo.” She accused, and Dan gave a tired snicker despite the fact it turned her attention to him. “It’s not funny! _Do you know how much this hurts?_ ”

Dan waves his iced hand. “I’d say about one hundred times whatever pain this is?”

“One thousand times.” Blair spat back, less angry this time, in a lull of the contraction-- but then it’s hitting again and she’s yelling, “I swear to God if either of you ever get me pregnant again I will castrate you!”

It’s a very, very long twenty-eight hours, but in the end they have Audrey Ella Waldorf.

  
  


* * *


End file.
